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Diane was the girl I had dated. We got engaged when we were in our first year of college, but we broke it off later.Anyway, I called Bruce up because I had to go to a wedding in Bumfuck Egypt, and wanted some company. Plus we hadn't seen each other in quite awhile.I picked him up, he lived about an hour away and we drove to the wedding. On the way there he filled me in on what had happened to Diane after the break-up. She'd gone off the deep end for maybe six months. Party girl. Smoked dope, did other drugs as well, and slept around. Evidently a lot. She'd only had sex with me before the break up. He told me about three guys that I knew that she'd screwed, and although he never said as much, I was pretty sure he'd had her as well.I felt really bad, I had no idea. He also told me about getting busted for drug possession when he was in California. Ask me about a drug, and I can tell you about it, was the way he phrased it.After the wedding we headed to the Czech Festival in a small town. " Yes. That is so much messier. The transistors always get stuck in the cat." Yes, yes."A pregnant pause settles over the room.Finally Mrs. Not-This-Week... announces, "I hope that pause doesn't give birth in here. It's bad enough with the radio exploding, just imagine the mess after it has all those little pauses." Yes, yes," agrees Mrs. I-Can't-Recall... "and it is always so hard trying to give the litter away. Wait too long and there's another batch or twelve. The little buggers are like foreigners, can't keep their legs apart." Yes, yes." Well, what do we do now." Let's see what's on the tely." Ooooo! I think it's another penguin!" It doesn't look like Danny DeVito." No, but it does look like Burgess Merideth." Why, yes it does! I wonder what it is doing on the tely?" It's sitting." I can see that!" Then why did you ask?" It was either that, we'd get another one of those pregnant pauses." Ooooo! We wouldn't want that! Not with a penguin on the tely." Still, I wonder where it came.
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